"Attitude for Gratitude"

Happy Thanksgiving!!  We had a great day with all the cousins, aunt, uncles, and grandparents - 36 in total.

Before celebrating many of us plus some family friends attended Thanksgving mass at our local church, St. Augustines.  The pastor Fr. Pradrig Greene had asked both myself and a Marine reserve to speak about our "Attitude for Gratitude".

Below is my take on the Being Thankful.  But it is such a small world.  Of all the people in our parish, the other speaker was Ken Yonker.  I wish him all the best in his current assignment in Bahrain.

• 1st we both selected the same quote for our speech.  Quite a surprise when I heard it and had yet to go.  But I worked it in and it was fine. 
• 2nd, when I was in elementary school (5+ years ago).  "Mr. Ken", as he was known, was my Kids Club (afterschool program) teacher.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

My name is Kaitlin Gallagher, How has my "Attitude for Gratitude" changed this past year?

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

I have pretty much been a "glass ½ full" person, pretty optimistic about life in general. 

• Grateful for this great town, unlike so many who can't wait to escape from.  
• My Family, all 9 cousins and my 4 grandparents close by.   
• My Friends whom I have known since Kindergarten and others who I have the privilege of meeting since.  
• My CCOP community, enjoying the FF classes as a child, receiving the sacraments, participating at mass as a lector, usher, singing in the choir, an alter server and currently co-teaching a 3^rd grade FF class.  
• And of coarse being a part of the VBS family

During that one week of VBS per year, God's many blessings are all present. 

• The message and music carried us thru the rest of the year. 
• The transformed hall reminded each of us of the gifts that surround us daily. 
• The many talents that God has given so many in order for the week to be a success.  
• The spirit felt as on entered, either as a participant or an observer, was permeable.

This past year I have battled stage 4 Leukemia & Lymphoma.  The diagnosis, although a surprise, made sense somewhat.  My body had been calling out for help.  I had back pain that started as a "softball injury", we thought.  However, it quickly progressed to unbearable pain.  I also had a lump at the base of my throat.  Although painless, not normal.

Thru God's grace we landed at UCSF where they were able to diagnose and begin treatment quickly.  While a cancer diagnosis is difficult.. knowing what was wrong and what path needed to be taken was comforting and reassuring.  I quickly learned that the blessings I had enjoyed and recognized thru my life did not end but were vastly expanded.

I can recall my phone calls and visitors all with well wishes and many, many prayers.  There was holy water from Fatima & Lourdes.  But I most remember Fr. Pradrig's visit at the hospital during the first couple of weeks.  He wanting to comfort me mentioned "It's just not fair".  "Not fair", I said.  Why not, someone has to do this why not me?  I did not see this journey as a punishment or "bad luck".  It was a battle that I knew I would get thru.

I quickly began to take note of all the new blessings that I had not been privy to in the past.

• The scientists who tirelessly search for a cure, but in the meantime have developed with precision the ever evolving treatment plans.  
• The doctors with mind and hearts that WANT to heal.  It's not just a job  
• The nurses, who caringly watch over me, administer my meds, watch movies with me and became my friends.  They truly wear angel wings.  
• My best friends and their families; the many long trips to SF to visit, the comforting blanket, the meals for my family, the support for my parents and can't forget the many signs or the 1000 peeps in front of the house  
• This wonderful community; the prayer shawl from CCOP, the 1000 cranes made by kids led by Morgan Ingram, the beautiful cards of well wishes and the months of meals. All made with such love and an abundance of prayers.

I believe I was one of the fortunate.  I tolerated the chemotherapy, surgeries and the scans.  I count that as a great blessing!  I was able to enjoy life during a time when others would hibernate and have difficulty seeing the constant bounty of blessings around.

This Thanksgiving, I am done with my treatments, cancer free and returning to school after break.

Although I had, for the most part been grateful for whom I am and what I have, My "Attitude for Gratitude" has only been strengthen by the events of this past year.

I pray that God gives me the grace to repay these gifts and blessings by helping others in need.

So, how has this past year changed or not changed your “Attitude for Gratitude”?

Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving!

Cancer Free! YEAH!!

Since my last round and blood transfusion, I have had blood work and a PET/CT scan.  All have come back clear!  I went to a check-up earlier today and Dr. Matthay showed me my initial scan and my most recent scan.   What a difference!  The first scan had many white patches which were tumors.  They were everywhere, even in my shoulders, down my thighs, 3 next to my kidney amongst the ones we already knew about (mass in my chest/throat).

I am officially done except for check-ups, scans, and bloodwork.  NO MORE CHEMO!

My eyelashes and eyebrows are well on their way to regrowth.  My hair is a little slower, but I do love wearing my hats.
 


Amador Spirit!  Go Dons!



Last Round with a stay at Morales Inn

Round 9 began on Oct 23 and was totally different as it was outpatient (my 1st).  For 3 days we had to show up at the clinic (drs. office) at UCSF and receive my chemo there.  For 2 nights we stayed with my mom's good friend, Rudy and his brother, in SF.  They live in a beautiful flat that feels like you are staying at at a really nice hotel.  We had great dinners (one with his niece Marissa) and went for several walks.  THANK YOU Rudy & Michael!  The 3 days went by uneventful and this round required shots at home, 7 in total.  They don't hurt, but I can't seem to get used to them either.  My counts did drop and a transfusion was necessary.  Of course on Halloween of all days!  Was bummed that I wouldn't be in town but then was better when I got to see the nurses in costume.  Loved the "bag of blood".  How fitting for this visit and a great idea for next year.  Spent the night at USCF and went home the next morning. 

My sister was a "baby" with feety pjs.  My brother and 2 of his friends decided to be a girls.  Perfect, we even have a wig he can wear.  He really went for it and let me apply his makeup (including mascara) and dress him.  He fooled many at school including his teacher.  The girls recognized him and then began saying he was dressed up as his sister, KK.

Kaitlin with sister Maddie and brother Timmy (little KK)

Only 2 to go!

Can't believe it has been almost 2 months since the last post.  Time goes by quickly when you are having fun!

Round 8 went well especially since there was no port.  They did put in a PICC line that stayed in till after Round 9, but it was painless and made all the necessary access easy.  FYI - a PICC line is like an IV in that it goes into your arm.  However, it is a tube that is insterted and fed thru your arm up to your chest and into an artery close to your heart.  Round 8 was my last inpatient stay for chemo.  The hospital staff were lots of  fun and even made me a poster.  It was kinda of sad leaving on the last day.

Best part of this round my counts were stable and no fever, ambulance ride, or blood transfusion!



Between Round 8 and Round 9 was Homecoming.  It was a great event and I am fortunate that I was healthy enough to be able to go, with my nurse Cindy's ok :) 

My perfect date, Cody

My bff Alexis and our daddys

don't you love my fashion statement (PICC line cover)?

Finally a round with no ambulance ride!

The last few weeks have come and gone quite quickly.  After round #7 my counts did drop, but no fever which means no ambulance ride!!  YEAH!!  I did have to come in for a blood transfusion, but that is relatively easy and a very short visit!

We celebrated my Nana's 70th birthday (wasn't sure I would be able to attend).  It was a great party and I really loved seeing my Uncle John and Aunt Katherine from Colorado.

Nana with Uncle John



Dad with Auntie JoJo and Aunt Katherine



My LexLex!  Silly girl!

Emily, Suzann, and Auntie Anne Marie

I finally got my driver's permit.  Only six months late.  I got a new pair of glasses (required for passing the vision test at the DMV) and finally got the braces glue off my teeth (thanks Liz!)

Celebrated Ava's 3rd birthday!  Cutie Pie!

Found a Homecoming dress (pix to come in a later post).

Celebrate Timmy & Tommy's Birthday and went to several of Timmy's soccer games.

And got to do a lot of homework!!  But really like my home teacher and love my tutor Rachael!

All in all, really got to do a lot in 3 weeks and now I'm in for Round #8.  Two nights and hopefully my final stay in the hospital.

Cutest Little Boy Ever.... Love him!

Ok, you have to see this...  It is a video about a 6 year old who has cancer.  He is the cutest thing ever.  I will meet him someday!

Little Fighter Link

Just a Page in the Book of Life...

So one day in the hospital, probably back in June, I mentioned to my mom that I wanted to have portraits taken.  Her response, "Really??".

She began googling "Cancer Photographers"...  She wanted someone to be able to really capture what I was going thru.  What happened is truly the result of a higher power.

She connected with a great photographer from Colorado that has a little boy with cancer, Jennifer Wyeth. After a quick email introducing me and wishing her son the best and wishing she lived in the Bay Area, she wrote back and said "Let me see what I can do..."    This Colorado mom sent out a message to her photography friends as well as her facebook friends.  That message reached Marielle Hayes right here in Oakland who wrote us that she would love to do the portraits when I was up for it.  After looking at her website Marielle Hayes Photography, we could not be more excited.

About a week ago we (Cody, Alexis and I) met with Marielle at Tilden Park in Oakland/Berkely for the photo shoot.  What an amazing photographer Marielle is...  Even more so, she is an amazing person and I am a better person for having met her.  One of my favorite all time people. 

Thank you Marielle for documenting my journey so beautifully....

Round #7 - Bye, Bye Port

1st day of school, took my sister and brother to school, and had lunch with dad, mom, papa and nana at Oasis.  Saw Fr. Pradrig lunching with a friend and then it was off to UCSF for Round #7, a 5 night stay and only about 2 hours of chemo per day.  Much lighter than usual.

Port Access - awful!!!  The worst one yet, so much for a good day.  They finally got one of the sides accessed after multiple tries and a big fat bruise on my chest.  This would be the absolute last time I would let them touch my port!

My doctor and nurse, luckily agreed and after discussing the gameplan for the last 2 rounds, the port was coming out....  Best day of my life.  Luckily there was a surgery cancellation before I left the hospital and the port was removed.  I now have a souvenir to throw darts at.

My 5 days has now been reduced to 3 days.  Good news is I get to go home earlier than expected, Bad news is I need 4 shots of chemo over the next couple of days.  Training (and practice into a mini pillow) for me and my mom and we will see how this goes.  But we have already both said that it won't be either of us giving those shots. 

to be continued....

shots went well after the first one and my mom did give them to me...  probably will have to do this again for the last round.

Summer at Last... and then Back to School!

It has been the best 3 weeks since before I was sick.  As close to normal as someone being treated for cancer can be.  Did a lot with my friends ~ worked registration at school for 3 days, went to the beach for the day, and passed my Algebra II final.  I am finishing up my Chemistry final by Monday and Sophmore year will be complete, on to Junior year!

Madelynn and Jamie went to camp for 2 weeks and had a great time.  Glad you are back! 

Cody went to LA for baseball.  Glad he is back also.  On to Football for him. 

My sister, Maddie had gum surgery and Timmy finally got a birthday party (with his cousin Tommy), only 6 months late, at Rockin Jump.

Lastly, the Portuguese Council of Newark had a Donut Sunday as a benefit for me.  3am start for my mom and grandparents, 675 lbs of flour, an army of wonderful people resulted in about 4,500 donuts sold...  Thanks to all who made this happen!



my avo stretching dough by hand and dropping them into a pan of oil... 

Everyone is back at school now and I will be having the home teacher come visit.  I have already contacted all my teachers and am really excited for this year.  I will be able to return full time by January at the latest.

Maddie & Timmy - 1st day of school. 
Where am I you ask, off to Round #7!

Dear Jen...

So I have been here since Wed and have actually felt really good except for my throat, so I had lots of time on my hands.  On of my favorite nurses was working Thursday night so I thought I would write the charge nurse, Jen, a little note. 

Dear Jen,
As you may know my unscheduled hospital stay starting on the month of August dated the 3rd.  It has been a bump in the summer road on the streets of San Fran.  I, Kaitlin Brianna Gallagher, born September 25th, 1995 request the my night nurse for the evening of August 5th, 2011 to be the beautiful Julie, with the straight brown hair and thin girly figure.  If you accept this request you will receive a hug from me, myself & my mother as well as a peice of delicious cherry pie from the cafeteria.  If the request is denied you will have one sad little child in Rm. 749. (we don't want that).  If you have questions or concerns please write back.
Thank you for your time, Kaitlin

She wrote back ~
Kaitlin - I would love to grant your request & make you a happy girl :)    -Jen

As I write this, I am waiting for my blood counts results to come back to see if I can go home. ANC (part of the white blood cells) needs to be 500. Not asking for a lot since normal is 1800-8000.

My visit home, Short & Sweet.... Ambulance Ride #3

So I came home on 7.31 from Round #6 and was not due to go back to the hospital till 8.25 for Round #7.  My last 3 rounds are now about 28 days apart.  I was due to get my blood tested on Thursday 8.4.  However, by Wednesday, I had mucicitis (sores in mouth and throat).  My throat hurt pretty bad and eating or drinking was almost impossible.  I was able to double my pain medicine dose, but that only took the edge off.  I slept most of the day, so by the afternoon, both my mom and hospital nurse thought I should go get my blood tested to ensure I was not in need of additional blood (anemic).  Blood results came back ok, but I spiked a temperature of 101.3, so off to emergency at Valley Care I went (anything over 101 is immediate admittance).  My mom tried to negotiate us driving directly to UCSF, but to no avail.  3 hours later, its Ambulance Ride #3 to UCSF.  Same driver and nurse as the last ride, continuity is good.
 
It is now Friday and my throat is still really sore, still no eating or drinking.  I never would have imagined how much saliva a mouth can produce and a throat needs to swallow.  The hospital has a solution for every situation.  At my bedside is a "dentist suction tube" at my disposal.  No swallowing or spitting required.   My counts have slowly started to rebound and by tomorrow I expect to feel much better, with hopes of going home on Sunday. 

Port update - learned yesterday that my port goddess nurse, Sally will be going on materity leave beginning Saturday.  Really?? couldn't those twins have waited a little longer.

This is the port that is under my skin
and has been so difficult to access

Wednesday admitting at UCSF was not as planned.  ValleyCare emergency is no longer allowed to touch my port.  They have tried on the two prior visits and failed to access it, so now I get an IV there.  So my master plan was to come to UCSF with my IV and negotiate waiting till Thursday morning, when Sally would be working, to have my port accessed.  The resident on duty was not so thrilled with the idea.  After a while of negotiation, my nurse going to bat for me, and the attending getting involved, my port had to be accessed that night.  2 reasons being, they need to take a culture from the port to ensure there is no bacteria growing in the line and the second reason is that they want antibiotics running thru it in case there is.  I was not happy about this at all...  What I was able to get though was some serious drugs to sedate me (Ativan and Verset topped with Benadryl after it was done and I was already on Morphine for the pain).  Don't remember the access part very well at all and now have a new protocal for future accesses.  Needless to say, Curtis did a great job and succeeded on the first try.

Round #6 Short & Sweet

Round #6 came and went, 7.26-7.31.  I was at the hospital for 3 nights, shortest stay yet.  Sally, port goddess nurse,  was there to access my port, which went beautifully.  I received a spinal tap, my 10th, which is really not a big deal, and did the 3 days of chemo.  I came home Friday evening to a pizza party at the Fairchilds with Alexis, Jamie and Madelynn (parents were invited too).   Now it's waiting for my counts to drop and rebound.  My body has residual buildup of the chemo and its effects, so the effects are stronger and rebounding is taking longer than it used to.  No blood work though till next Thursday, 8.4.

Tahoe Pix - July 2011

Lake Tahoe - can't wait till I can go...

Maddie pitching for Mojo in Tahoe tournament

 

Timmy and Aiden

Grace, Alexis, Elizabeth, & Maddie
Cousin time in Tahoe

Beach day with Nana and Auntie JoJo

Nurse Kaitlin at home and then on to Round #6

The anitbiotics did their thing and I was able to go home on Tuesday, July 19th.  However, I did need to take antibiotics at home for the next 3 days.  Because I had a blood infection, the antibiotics had to be thru my port and not in pill form.  The hospital arranged for "home care" (did not even know this existed) and a big box of supplies was delivered that day.  A nurse came by after I was home to set me up and train us on changing out bags of liquid antibiotics for the next 3 days.  This entailed me having a "fanny pack" on me continuously.  Glad it was only 3 days.  All went well and nurse came back Saturday morning to remove my port needle.  Freedom felt good...  But I did love playing Nurse (and no I don't want to be one).

My sister Maddie had a softball tournament in Lake Tahoe over the weekend, so my dad took her and Timmy up for a long weekend.  Papa and Nana rented a house for the week and the cousins (with parents) spent lots of time hanging out together.  They also got to see cousin Chris, Aiden, and Audrey...  lot's of fun...  we will all have to do this again next year.  But it did mean a quiet house, so I was able to get lots of rest and my blood counts climbed back up.

Blood counts in check meant I could go on to Round #6.  This officially begins the Maintenance phase of my treatment plan.  My PET scan and bone marrow tests, from last week, came back all cancer free!  Only 4 Rounds to go and they should be somewhat lighter.  However, because chemo has now built up in my body, it is taking longer to recover.

Lastly ~ Happy Birthday to my mom, Debbie (Alexis' mom) and Teresa (Cody's mom)!

More pictures to come....

Sooooo much better today :)

I woke up feeling soooo much better today.  I am still on antibiotics, but am down to 2 from 4 earlier in the week.  I am no longer on heartrate, oxygen, and respitory monitoring - all have been within the normal range for the last day or so.  I even got a shower for the first time in a week.  On Monday I should find out more about when I will be able to go home and whether I will need to continue my meds there...  yes, thru the tubes.

Nothing much else going on, lots of TV and scrabble on the IPad with my mom.  Timmy played in a soccer tournament, for charity, in Dublin today and my dad got to coach his team.

I have turned the corner

Today is definitely better than yesterday.  I still have a way to go to be completely healthy, but have turned the corner.  Today they have me on some oxygen and I had a CT scan done of my chest.  Yes, I am wearing an "old grandpa" tube up my nose for the oxygen.  The doctors wanted to rule out a secondary infection.  No additional infection, but I did have a small case of pneumonia.  Because my white blood cells are climbing back to normal at the same time, they too want to attack bacteria in my body.  But it makes the "pneumonia" inflammation look worse that it is.  Oxygen does wonders.  My heartrate and blood pressure are getting back to normal.  I still have a little cough, but that too is better.  Well on the road to recovery.

"Time to pretend I am dead..."  Ok, I can't be that bad.  My nurse comes in and says they are testing their pagers.  She asked if I could help and hold my breath (not until I pass out) until my monitor begins beeping and is supposed to page her.  Couldn't make it happen, so we just unattached a couple of the wires from my body and bingo, it worked, monitor went crazy.



More updates tomorrow...

Ambulance Ride #2

The weekend was great and Monday started out pretty good also.  Although my counts were still low, I felt really good.  Made a "Welcome Home" sign for Alexis and family with Cody and Raymond and then went and laid in the pool at Papa & Nana's.  Went home and took a nap while my mom took Maddie and Timmy to see Mr. Popper's Penguins (it was really good).  And then it was all over.  I woke up to a 101.8 temp.  That meant immediate trip to the ER for some fluids, antibiotics and a trip to UCSF by ambulance.  Valley Care did pull a blood sample to test for bacterial culture.  The last time this happened the cultures were all negative and after a couple days of antibiotics at UCSF I went home.  However, this time the cultures came back positive and I officially had a blood infection.  Since Monday, I have been on heavy doses of 3 different antibiotics and lots of fluids.  This has been much more difficult than just getting chemo.  You truly begin to appreciate all the protection your body naturally has for infection and different bacterias.  My temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, and respitory breathing goes up and down.  I am on constant watch by the nurses and the doctors.  Their true spirit really shows during these challanging times.  Today has been better.  My temperature has stabilized.  I received 2 units of blood and 1 of platletts, so by tomorrow I should be much better... updates to come later in the week.

If you are looking for a way to give back,  GIVE BLOOD, at your local Red Cross.  I have received about 12 units/pints of blood.  A single person would have to donate for 2 years for that much blood as you can only donate every 8 weeks.


BTW - The port once again did not cooperate either at the ER or at UCSF.  It took 2 nurses and 4 tries on Tuesday for it to finally work...  And forget the ER, never again will they be trying to access it.  It doesn't hurt, but the more poking and trying they do, the more bruised it becomes and then it hurts.

Lucky Mia Bingo Sunday!

On Sunday the 10th, the SDES Portuguese Hall hosted a Bingo as a fundraiser for me.  It was a great day! My parents told me all about it.  I was not able to attend as my blood counts were low and you have to be 18 in order to play or even being on the floor once the event begins.  The event included a bbq chicken lunch and serious bingo playing all afternoon with many great prizes.  Fun was had by all.  Many thanks to all who made this happen for me, but especially Frank & Amelia Martins and Gil & Mary Lima.  I love you all!

Thank you also to everyone who attended!